On Caregiving

             Most, if not all, of us, when confronted with a medical condition in a loved one want to know what we can do to fix it.  We don’t like to see someone else have to endure pain and discomfort or grueling treatments or remedies.  We want to know exactly what it is that we can DO to make things better.  More often than not, there is nothing we can DO to make things better and that makes us frustrated because of perceived ineffectiveness.

            So, how do we navigate the times we may find ourselves in the role of a caregiver?

            For one, the caregiver must realize the importance they play in the day to day life of the patient.  At the Hope Lodge, each patient is strongly encouraged to have a caregiver with them at all times during their treatment and time spent at the lodge.  It’s not mandatory, but it is highly recommended as the lodge does not provide 24 hour cares.  The caregiver is there to attend to the physical, mental and spiritual needs of the patient. 

            And, it certainly doesn’t need to be much.  Many are the times when simply a touch from someone is all that’s required to soothe a particularly rough day.  Just knowing that someone is there is blessedly comforting.  And, there is healing in the physical touch provided from one individual to another.

            When faced with the challenges of life-threatening disease the burden upon the mind can be overwhelming.  The care-giver serves as a companion to listen to the thoughts and feelings expressed and to offer comfort through reassuring words.

            Don’t forget caregivers; during this journey, you have to take time for yourself.  You will feel drained.  What you are going through is physically, emotionally and spiritually draining and you will feel it.  You must recognize your own limitations and be prepared to seek respite when the time is right.  And you know what?  It’s okay to say I recognize my limits.  It’s not just okay, it’s required.  If you don’t recognize your own limitations, it can impact the care and well-being of the patient.

            And don’t forget to pray.  If you’re inclined to pray out loud, do so.  The patient will draw solace from your words.  But even if you don’t pray out loud, pray nonetheless.  It makes a world of difference.

            So, although we cannot DO anything to make the patient well, there are myriad ways we can serve the patient and things that we can DO to make the journey tolerable.  It is in that doing that the caregiver receives reward in a sense of an important job well done.  The words may come from others, or from the patient in the form of emotional and heartfelt words of gratitude.  The caregiver can come away from this experience enriched in the knowing that another individual’s life and comfort has been positively impacted by one’s own actions.  I’m pretty sure there aren’t very many things that get any better than that!